On Being A Mom

This Boy of Mine

  As we head into March, my email inbox has been flooded with events to add to my calendar as the school year is heading into the home stretch. My son, my oldest child is an 8th grader this year, and this week we were instructed to send two pictures to school for the slideshow that will be playing during their final spring vocal concert. Of course the pregnancy hormones have me on an emotional roller coaster already, but to add to it the thought of my baby, my firstborn heading into high school next year has tugged at my heart strings. Going through old pictures has brought so many memories rushing back.

Keaton's first picture taken at the hospital

  I was only a young kid myself when I found out I was pregnant with my son, but as anyone with kids can appreciate, parenthood changes you. I grew up sooner than my peers, but honestly I can't imagine my life any other way. My son and I have always had a very special bond, he was my little buddy, my side kick. I always tell him he saved me from myself in those early 20's when most people worry about where the next party is, or how they should fix their hair to go out that night. I spent my nights in reading books with my son, watching Disney movies, and worrying if he had enough play time outside, or making sure he was eating nutritious foods, or if I was doing enough to be a good mom. Being a single parent was both very difficult, but very rewarding. I got all of the hugs, cuddles, & kisses, but missed out on being able to share his special milestones with someone who loved my little boy as much as I did. As he heads into his teenage years I'm finding it hard to let go. We still have a special bond, and he'll ALWAYS be my little boy, even though he's easily 4 inches taller than me these days! But once in a while I wish I could just rewind time just to make sure I enjoyed every moment as much as I could with him when he was little, because it goes by in the blink of an eye.

Keats & I in our matching polos

Keaton & I on Easter 2004

  My son will be 15 this May, and by the time this baby gets here at the end of May and I find myself almost starting over, I know he will be an extraordinary big brother. I always remember what my mom told me when my son was a newborn, she said "just enjoy every moment, even though you're sleep deprived, sometimes frustrated, enjoy every little thing because it goes by so fast". I know she was right, and I remember always thinking of her words and trying to remind myself to just enjoy the time, but even when you do, it's amazing how fast it goes by. For anyone going through the trenches just know, you will look back on these times and miss them. So try and enjoy the little moments that capture your heart and make you melt, whether it's that tiny little hand reaching out to hold yours, or fingers under the door when you're trying to escape for 2 minutes just to use the bathroom by yourself, or when your kids are finally asleep for the day and you can unravel just a little. You are that little person's whole world, and in the blink of an eye, their world will begin evolving.

The kids first day of school this year 8th & 5th grade

My handsome young man getting ready at our wedding

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